Friday, March 10, 2006

Vintage Ports, Fine Whines

At first, I was terribly confused. I thought I heard Hillary had a "blocked port" or something. Well, that got some rude images rolling around my skull.

Then I saw the headline:


Which naturally sent me reeling. I worry about Hillary that way, but maybe it was a blessing. God forbid Bill finds out.

So, I read carefully, and tried to figure out what was going on. Bill Clinton doing some intimate business with the Arabs. Hillary claims she didn't know. Where have we heard that before?

A couple of businessmen actually tried to bring some lucid insight into the matter, but they were pretty much instantly shut down by Senator Chuck Schumer.

Some deal about Arabs taking over our national security. Apparently the Communist Chinese already control our entire national security apparatus from Long Beach, California. But that seems to be okay, for some reason. Nothing to worry about there-- Bill Clinton set the west coast deal up. So it must be cool.

In any case, by the time I figured it out, it was all over. Apparently, our port operations are safely back in the hands of the Mafia, where they belong. Tradition is upheld. Thanks, Chuck. Thanks Hillary.

Pictures always tell the story best:

We're always safer with American management.

Without radical Islamic influence, American longshoremen remain free to share homoerotic moments.

Meanwhile, in California, it's business as usual.

Isn't it nice to know we can sleep safely at night?