Monday, February 06, 2006

When Pork is a Verb

I happened to be chatting with Porky Pig the other day. We often chat about current political events and economics. Engaging stuff. On this day, the subject of Islam came up. Porky was agitated, apparently over the recent and ongoing riots concerning a cartoon portrayal of some religious nut. I asked Porky and his buddy Daffy Duck, who happened by, what their thoughts were. Here is an excerpt from the conversation:

Roger: What has you so bothered about the cartoon issue, anyway?

Porky: Hyp-p-p-pocrisy. Th-th-that's what. They print hateful cartoons about westerners all the time, and nobody burns down an embassy. And, they h-h-hate pigs, too.

Roger: Muslims won't eat pork, and you are, well, a pig. Don't you see just a little irony in that?

Daffy: Ironic, yes. But irony is what cartoons are all about.

Roger: I see. Well, what are you guys going to do about all this?

Daffy: Cartoon Jihad! All us cartoons have banded together to form the Cartoon Liberation Front. Pie-faced revenge on all who defame celluloid pork.

Roger: What about the insanity of those who think 72 virgins are await their martyrdom? How do you fight that kind of fanaticism?

Porky: Virgins? Who cares? I'll take a single g-g-greased pig, any Saturday night.

Roger: [chokes on coffee] Well, I see.

And so it went. While the whole matter seems silly, I suppose one could argue the Islamic reaction to a drawing on paper is a bit ridiculous as well. But then, sticking a chopped-off head back on someone's head only works in the cartoon world. So, the pig may have a point. In any case, while they conspired, I did some snooping and gathered a few glimpses of the coming storm. Here is my pictorial essay.

It's truly a "Coalition of the Squealing".

72 Virgins? Bah! These guys have a much better deal. Pork is sometimes a verb.

Leadership will win the day.

Celluloid insurgency.

Nothing more dangerous than a pissed-off duck.

Human Intelligence Operatives, eavesdropping.

Inspirational Literature.

Be Afwaid. Be Vewwy Afwaid.

With this kind of leadership, what could possibly go wrong?